- I've been dreaming of my mom almost constantly. I don't recall the last night I didn't dream about her. According to all of the grief and loss information I've read, that's completely typical, and nothing to be worried about. I've also read that its occurring because I'm stressed (or anxious, or something) and I need to be taken care of. I think that's the meaning that I'm going to attach to it, anyway. I miss my mom terribly, and I have a feeling that if she were still alive things would be a lot better. I know that's a stupid thing to say, as well as ridiculously untrue, but that's how I feel. I'll hopefully be seeing my grief counselor soon to talk about everything and hopefully get a better grasp on things.
- I realized that someone I consider to be a close friend...really isn't that great of a friend when times get tough. She's great for a shopping trip or going to the movies, but when life gets "real", her only solution is to pray for the person going through the tough time. Not to be their friend in the same way that she had been previously, but simply to pray. That's...nice if it works for you, but that doesn't mean much to me right now. I need someone to talk to right now, in this moment, and you can't even do that?? What kind of friend are you? I understand that the death of a parent is extremely difficult for anyone to comprehend, but I would really appreciate people trying to be supportive. That's it. I just want them to try and to show me that they want to be there for me. No one is going to have the perfect words to say to make me feel better, but just the attempt would make me feel better. I'm extremely angry with this "friend" mostly because I expected more.
And that's all I have for now. I'm swamped with school work, work work, and getting myself mentally prepared for internship. I really need life to slow down a little bit, but that's not going to happen any time soon.
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